This man was sitting quietly in the corner window seat and trying to see out as the train left Mumbai Central Station-on its way to Chennai. The AC-III tier always seems cramped; he would have preferred sleeper.
Soon all took their respective places; it was really cramped now.
Everyone becomes friends real quick on train journeys.
So you are newly married, asked our man.
Yes, answered the girl, six months.
I was once newly married, said our man and went deep.
What happened, asks the girl.
Sad story; I don't want to tell.
Tell tell na, prodded an oldish man.
Seriously, you want to know, asks our man.
Ya ya, was the chorus.
Ok listen.
I met this girl in Mumbai, and we got married.
Then she tells me she is a Tamilian and that we should go and meet her parents.
Ok.
So we boarded a train. And when it reaches TN border, she whispers, my parents are not too happy about this marriage. So
So.. So... what do I do now?
And they are not in Chennai; we are from Vellore (the next station).
But I bought Chennai ticket.
Well, Vellore is the crime capital of India. I think so. For when we reached Vellore, the platform was full of her relatives. Her brother brought 10 friends, and her father brought 4 friends. The mother brought her sister, who brought her husband, who called all his relatives.
I refused to leave my seat. She went running to the door, and it started amma, appa, chinna. All that.
Then she brought them in to meet me; I was like ayoo ayoo.
Amma Appa meet Rajesh Reddy, my husband.
They give me a long look, and then, booo her mom starts crying. My wife na just said amma amma twice, and that shut her.
You can't talk to ur mom like this, began her father.
Appa train is about to leave. You have to go..
You are not coming.
Maybe later.
They disembark.
God, those were the worst three minutes of my life.
We reach Chennai and check into a hotel.
You booked on Oyo, asked this young fellow sitting on that single seater.
No, I walked in with luggage.
Later, we went to a nearby temple, Madurai Meenakshi or Kamakshi—I don't know—and got married. Again.
Madurai Meenakshi temple is in Madurai, corrected the oldish man.
What happened after that?
Went to Hyderabad to introduce my parents to their new daughter-in-law.
Then
My mother put kerosene on herself and burnt herself, said our man.
Gasps all around.
A head jutted out of the top berth, and she said, No, she didn't. She was the sweetest woman I ever met.
and went back to reading her book.
This woman was sitting with the group, and midway, she left and went up with a book.
You, his wife, asked the fairly newlywed guy.
Yeah. its karma.
Come down and tell us more na.
What to tell. There is nothing, she said.
There is so much to tell, said our man.
We had two sons. Both her chamchas. Both married Tamilians. Ok, one was love, but the other was arranged by her. Pointing up.
No, both were love marriages. came a voice from above.
At least the daughter married my choice. said the old man.
Na, that too was love.
Our man is shocked.
We just let you believe that.
I knew he was a useless fellow.
He is not useless; he is a police officer like our daughter.
How did u 2 meet , asked the newlywed girl to the voice upstairs.
I was his student.
Gasps all around.
But only 5 years difference, our man tried justifying.
6, came the voice from upstairs.
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